Just Plain Different

Just Plain Different- 


We all have different ways of parenting, I would like to be able to say no one way is better, they are all just different but I think if we stop worrying about hurting someone's feelings, we all know that some parenting styles are just plain wrong. As a couple we seem to find a way to adapt and are able to take two different styles and make them one unit. I have learned that as the marriage deteriorates so does the ability to parent as one unit. We as divorced parents have to find a way to put our differences aside and remember we are trying to raise children here. Once again please refer to a link that was sent to me. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/coparenting_shared_parenting_divorce.htm I'm seeing a pattern with this link, are you? 

Setting the other parent up to fail, a concept I never knew existed. I'm here to tell you, it sure as hell does.  I just never see it coming. Example - Facebook. I was sent an e-mail from my ex asking me if I would have a problem with [son] having a facebook account.  My opinion (which I have since figured out is worth about as much as a wooden nickel) was and still remains, our 13yr old (now 14) has a cell phone with texting, an e-mail account, and is surround by friends from school in the neighborhood.  That, to me, seems like sufficient opportunity to socialize.  I am pretty sure everyone is familiar with how Facebook works, so when I friend you, you now have access to all of my friends' pages. So all the adult f-bombs and drunken nightclub pictures are free game for our son to see (and emulate). Now my head is not in a hole in the ground (it has been said to be up my ass many times), I am sure some pretty nasty words are thrown around at school. If I can limit the exposure to inappropriate behavior and words that our son comes in contact with, then that's what I'm going to do whether he likes it or not, sorry.

The response I received was- 
I have told our son all a long I was fine with him having a Facebook account, but I had to ask you first. 

And there it is, one of many- mommy says it's ok but dad says no, sorry (I'm the cool parent but you know your father!). We as parents (together or not) must learn to talk and agree with each other before approaching the children (unless you're trying to set the other parent up to fail).  A follow-up to that story at a later date...